When I started in this business I was actually quite good at what I had chosen to do and the offers of representation and deals were fast and furious. I was sponsored by NIKE for comedy and I was on my way up. The problem with all that is that the idea of it all going sideways creeps in. There was no reason to believe that things would change but once you hold on to an idea it tends to warp. A few relationships along i realized that i needed to be alone…and away from sho biz. I really craved my alone time and i learned to follow my gut. Although I could elicit a huge response from an audience it didn’t sit right with me. In many ways the tricks and gimmicks of making an audience laugh are just manipulations and they become hollow and unfulfilling. Also the demands to be something that we are not strain our relationship with ourselves and probably others. We become alone when in fact it seems we are on top of it all. getting affirmation in the form of employment, enjoying craft services for a day, a week, or even travelling to locations abroad appear on the surface to be success but in fact can just be a distraction from the work we need to do on ourselves. When some of the aforementioned relationships broke up, I began to realize that i was just doing time , held in a prison of a dream and needing to find a stronger base and reality that could make me feel normal. Our cravings for fame and attention will only leave us cold and distant from our real needs. Loneliness is actually where the work can begin. You know the idea and difference between being alone and “feeling” loneliness. “Alone” is strong and loneliness is about acknowledging your need for something outside yourself. Don’t get me wrong, we need plenty from others but fame and money isn’t really a part of that. Desire for those things is also normal on some level but it is fleeting. Even the Dalai Lama know he is famous but it doesn’t go to his head…(probably a little bit LOL).
So how do you feel better in a time like this? Stop and start. Stop panicking by focusing on your old self, you as a child, you as a young person with a tiny desire of helping others or taking in pets or whatever it might be. Find that tiniest part of yourself that has been suppressed in order to fulfill your adult dreams. It is your innocence, return to that and START acting on its direction…What does it want to do? Go for a walk, go see the grand canyon, volunteer at a school help whales…whatever it is, it will draw out that littlest, brightest part of yourself and begin the transformation. It will grow and it will strengthen you for the long run. The only run that matters. And even Jim will agree with that because the first person that you trust the most that you surround yourself with …is yourself. We are all here for you. I can’t wait to find out what you choose to do!!Me
#DEARROBTRICK from Facebook