@robtrick Strangely today I awoke at about 6:15 am

Strangely today I awoke at about 6:15 am. Today happens to be the anniversary of my Father’s passing. He died at approximately 6:20 am last year. I have missed my Father this year but not in the ways that some might. At the best of times it was alway tumultuous. As the eldest male, of a successful father it can be hard not to feel judged at every turn. When I was young I adored my father. I wanted to be him. All normal for a young boy but as I aged and made choices he then wanted me to be more like him. I couldn’t . His Father had left him and had missed giving my father a full education on parenting. It was a different time and he just couldn’t make up for it. No one can. In the same way I am similarly handcuffed as a parent. He left us when I was 14. In many ways, I am lucky because I am able through my path to at least see what is missing in me. In many way I have over compensated. But I am thinking of you Dad. My children are incredibly special to me. I wonder where I have gone wrong but I , too soldier on. But I do think of you Dad. It is in their eyes and their movement that I see the in-escaple bond we share genetically. In their moods, and their manner. It is in my face and my eyes and manners that I see you. In my inhalations, my movements, my stiffness and my moods that I hear , see, and feel you. A few weeks ago I wrote about my sons choice not to play select hockey. I wanted to let you know. I wanted to tell you how proud I was in him. He was growing up and making his own choices. I wanted to tell you how proud I was in him. I wanted to let you know. I am a Dad. I wanted to let you know Dad #dearrobtrick from Facebook
via IFTTT

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s